My head pounds with thoughts and fears and worries swirling inside of it.
It’s overwhelming. Tiresome. Draining.
It’s powerful, grabbing a hold of my heart and yanking the happiness from under me.
It wipes the smile off of my face and quiets the laughter into sadness and tears.
There are so many thoughts and endless concerns that I’m not quite sure where to start.
I could stress over my body image, but I stay quiet.
I could complain about the mess, but instead I leave it, choosing to walk over the toys rather than pick them up for the billionth time.
I could complain about the sleep deprivation but I won’t.
I could worry over the stresses and situations, but I don’t. I push it aside, glazing over the fear it produces.
Instead, I enjoy it.
I ignore the negatives and soak up the sweetness.
I cherish that my kids are playing. They’re happy. They’re engaging. And they’re learning.
I bask in the laughter that bounces from the walls, echoing straight into my heart and filling my soul.
I treasure the late night snuggles and quiet rocks, back and forth, soaking up his sweetness and relishing the baby stage.
I trust in my heart that it will be okay, that we will prevail, and things will turn out okay in the end.
I close my eyes and inhale it all.
I soak it up and let the happiness seep in.
I wash the worries away and set the stresses free.
I could be worried, stressed, frustrated and miserable.
It would make me sad. Short. Angry.
I don’t want to be that person.
My kids deserve more.
My husband deserves more.
I deserve more.
So instead, I choose to be happy.
*This is written in response to the prompt: “If you want to be happy, be.” ~Leo Tolstoy, linked with Little White Whale.